Friendship

October 2020 is a month that I will remember forever. It's been a month of bucket list accomplishments and challenging life events. In the midst of both, life giving wins and challenging losses, there seems to be common themes that speak to what's important in the pursuit of finishing strong.

Friends: The month is clouded with sadness. I lost my good friend Steve (77) to cancer and had another good friend Greg (57) diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer. Two men I love dearly. Before I share what, I am learning from this I have a request.

Pray for Steve's bride and best friend in the world Candy as she navigates what I have to believe is a state of loneliness that I can't comprehend.

Greg is a fighter, and if anyone can kick this ugly illness it's him. Pray for his strength and courage and that in the midst of this battle God would continue by His grace to empower Greg to live abundantly, no matter the struggle or the outcome.

Lessons: I find myself reflecting on the pure goodness of each of these men and more importantly the life-giving relationships and times we have spent together. Funny how my thoughts have zero to do with what they have accomplished or any of their flaws. What comes to mind is laughter and tears. Literally, the times we have laughed and cried together which are some of the richest times of my life. It's interesting how, at the time, those interactions felt just like another day in the life, but in hindsight they are far more than simply a day in the life, they are life itself.

We all long for friends. But I wonder if we are thinking about friendship in the right way. We seem to believe for some reason that the foundation of friendship is that people are together all the time. After all best friend's drink beer together and go bowling every Thursday evening don't they?

Life with Steve and Greg has rarely been daily or even monthly interactions. There have been spans of time were each of our lives went different ways and we didn't talk for long periods. I have known Greg for close to 40 years. I have known Steve for 3. They are both friends.

The foundation of friendship does not seem to be as dependent on time as much as it is rooted in shared experiences and meaningful interactions. I guess that's why my thoughts reflect on laughter and tears. Friendship also seems to be seasonal. By that I mean that people come into and move out of our lives like the changing of seasons. The fact that people move away has little or nothing to do with the value or state of our friendship. I spoke to a friend the other day that I have not spoken to in six years and minutes into the conversation we picked up right where we left off and it is was as if there was never a break in between.

The fact that friendship in not constrained or dependent on time offers us a small glimpse into heaven and why what we do now matters in heaven. You see I am confident that Steve will be one of the first people to greet me in heaven and we will pick up right where we left off, although I suspect there will be more laughter than tears. I am thankful that we built a friendship here so that one day we can continue it there. What we do here matters!

The invitation: I am learning more and more to recognize and embrace these seasons and cherish the interactions within them knowing that each interaction is a precious moment and that friendship comes out of each of these shared experiences. Some are laughter and some are tears, but each are the making of true life giving friendships that carry on for eternity. I wonder if Matthew 6:19-21 has anything to do with this?

As I close the final and maybe most important lesson of all of this is that Steve and Greg both know that I love them, and I know I am loved by them. That "my friends" might actually be the most simplistic definition of true friendship.

In the pursuit of living an abundant life and dying a radiant death, your friend - Jeff